My patience gets worn.
It is exhausting being a mom. It
is exhausting having to constantly have answers and be on your game. I lose my patience on a daily basis. I would
like to learn how to control my reactions to my kids, which I haven’t done
that yet. I am very reactive to my kids and I
hate that about myself. I have a hard
time stepping back and taking a breath before saying what needs (or in some cases doesn't need) to be
said.
However, being reactive leads to exciting things as
well. Everything is a celebration. I get
super excited when they do things and I love my reaction when they share
something new. You got an A on a spelling test? Jumping around the kitchen! You
were on purple at school? Ice cream! You mastered your round off? Mom will do
one too! You scored in your game? I am screaming on the sidelines. Everything is a big deal, which means when
things aren’t always sugar and spice that is a big deal too.
I don’t handle not listening well. It is the kryptonite that leads to some ugly
things in my house. My kids have the world’s
most magical selective hearing. They
don’t hear me say put your shoes on or brush your teeth, but they can hear me
unwrap a candy bar from a different room. It is truly a gift of theirs.
I lose my patience with them daily. Luckily for me we are forgiving people. I
forgive them for never listening and they forgive me for being “mean.”
I wonder at what point will they actually start to follow
directions. I wonder if I have done
something wrong as their mother along the way. I wonder
if it is me that has made them think
they don’t have to listen when I speak. The other thing I have noticed as a mom is it
is really hard to forgive yourself when you overreact to something. We never want our kids to be sad and when we
are the one responsible for them being sad it is painful. Forgiveness is key on both ends.
I wouldn’t trade being a mom for anything in the world, I
have learned more about myself than I ever knew possible. The love these kids have given me is
unexplainable.
I am thankful for children that are loving and
accepting. I am thankful for new starts
to each day. I am thankful for friends
and a husband that can talk me off a ledge any day of the week.
