For the Love....

As a parent there are times when you are simply overwhelmed.  I spent the last thirty minutes getting the kids ready for bed.  Reading our book, singing our three songs, and laying in bed with Sloane then Aiden.  Generally bed time is always an overwhelming time for me because I have very little patience at 8:00 at night. Not tonight.  I spent that thirty minutes gradually becoming more and more overwhelmed with the love that I have for these two people. 

There are times when you look at your kids and you become amazed at who they are.  They do little things that fill your heart and bring a smile to your face.  I stare at both my kids a lot.  I can tell you about every little line on their face and curl in their eyelashes and how each hair lays on their heads.  I can tell you where all their freckles are and what their fingernails look like and how perfectly round their bellies are.  I am a little obsessed with my kids, but I would never fool you...they make me crazy, a lot.  But all of those 'a lots' are overshadowed by short moments of overwhelming love. 

I was laying in bed with Sloane tonight and she rubbed my back.  SHE rubbed MY back.  Then she began to rub my cheeks.  She told me she loved me and laid her little hand on my arm.  It took my breath away. She took my breath away.  She is perfection.  She is love.  She is amazing.

Monday Kyle and I took the little people to Kohls to get them new stockings and I let them each pick out an ornament.  Sloane picked out Barbie (of course) and Aiden picked out a football player (no surprise to us).  When we got back to the house we got out of the car and Aiden looked at me and said, 'thanks mom.'  Now, I know this isn't a big deal.  Kids should say thank you all the time, but let's be honest....they don't.  They say it most often because we tell them to.  There was something about the way Aiden said 'thanks' that night.  He meant it.  He was genuine. He was happy. He was really thankful that he got the ornament and he knew it was something to be thankful for.  He is growing up each day.  He is becoming a boy.  He is perfection.  He is love.  He is amazing.

I am lucky.

Music

You ever hear a song and immediately get taken back to a moment in your life?  A moment that was not necessarily important or huge, but just a moment?  I swear music is like a time machine for me.  I hear songs and I am instantly taken back to a time in my life and reminded of something. 

Any time I hear the Titanic Theme Song I think of Leslie's funeral and when I hear a Garth Brooks song I think of her making up coordinating dance moves to match his words.  Anytime I hear KT Oslin I think of my mom and her sisters and usually think of our trips to South Padre.  When I hear Adele I think of my divorce and what a wonderful time that was.  Whenever Baby Got Back comes on the radio, I think of Shelly Simms, Annie Cosgrove and Nicole Wright (Hays) and I see them shaking their money makers. When I hear most country songs I think of Kyle.  I am pretty confident that we could create a country play list of songs that represent us, but most of "my people" aren't country fans....so don't worry I won't make you a Whitney loves Kyle CD for christmas. Whenever I hear Britney Spears I think of Amanda Larner and her minor obsession with that lady.  Whenever I hear Nelly's "Ride Wit Me" (yes, 'wit' not 'with') I think of Courtney Cohron and our dorm room freshman year.  When I hear any pop song nowadays I think of Sloane and picture her singing to it or think, 'Oh man, I bet Sloane would love this!'  Elton John makes me think of college and always playing him while Annie sat back in disgust (she still hasn't justified her dislike of him). Anytime I hear a Michelle Branch (bet you don't even remember her) song I think of Shelly Simms....guaranteed Shelly is googling that name as we speak :)

Music always puts me in a mood...good/bad/happy/sad. I like how music makes me want to tell a story.  It makes me want to share my moments in life with other people.  I like that my daughter has the same love for music as me.  When 'her songs' comes on the radio she lights up.  I love that about her.  I love that she will turn anything into a microphone and sing her little heart out. 

There are so many songs that make me think of a specific moment in time a specific place and specific emotion....does music do that to you?

Chicago and all 6 of us...

Kyle and I planned a quick weekend trip to Chicago for us and all four of our (Brady Bunch) kids.  We left on a Friday, around 4:30, and headed for Chi town.  We borrowed Gramma Lucy's van so I had the joy of driving a swagger wagon around for a couple of days.  I won't admit this to many people but I liked "the van"....yeah I said it, I liked it.  There was SO much room for the kids, so much room for me to move around in. It was nice, I won't be buying one tomorrow....or ever....but it was really nice.

So we got to Chicago around 7:00 and got checked into our room.  Aiden thought the room was AMAZING. It's funny how kids think hotel rooms are awesome.  It's also funny how adults think hotel rooms are awesome.  Here is what I see:

• a place that I don't have to clean.
• a place where I don't have to make the bed.
• a place where I don't have to wash the towels or the bedding.

As soon as we got there we got unloaded then went on the hunt for dinner.  Considering it was Friday at 7:30, you can imagine how crowded places were.  We found a place without a wait...California Pizza Kitchen.  It was good.  My kids ate.  Kyle's girls ate.  We ate.  We headed out on the town for a little bit before we got back to the hotel for the night.

The next day we got up, did breakfast then headed out for our PLANNED day.  Plan was:

1. museum of science and industry
2. ghirardelli chocolate factory
3. lincoln park zoo
4. outside concert (for the lights festival)
5. shopping
6. watch the lights festival parade

Here is what we did:

 

1. Stopped at Millennium Park to check out 'the bean'

 

2. Stopped for some photo opps

 

3. Headed to The Field Museum and Walked along Navy Pier

 

4. Went to the Field Museum (view from the front of that joint)

  

5. Checked out all the awesome stuff in the museum.  It was so interesting and all the kids really enjoyed it. Aiden loved the bones and dinosaurs.  Once we LEFT I learned about a HUGE children's area that we didn't find.  That place was endless.....
6. After the museum we ate hotdogs from a street vendor...so delicious (even when you're sober).
7. We walked back to Magnificent Mile and Bailey did a little shopping.  Kailyn, my kids, and I went back to the location of the outdoor concert.  This was a BRILLIANT idea until we got there. Somehow every other person in Chicago thought it would be a great idea to go to the same concert.  Once we fought through the crowd, we took a few back-roads  to a little less crowded area.
8. We met back up with Kyle and Bailey and headed to the Ghirardelli Chocolate Shop.

9. After all this business we worked our way back to the hotel and headed back to Indiana.

We learned a lot from the trip...like let's not go when it is the lights festival weekend.  But overall Kyle and I were really happy to be able to hang out with our kids and enjoy something that was new.  We didn't quite get to all the things on our itinerary, yet we had a great time.  I know that I am really looking forward to our next 'getaway'....hopefully KB feels the same way :)

Defining People

It is what we do that defines who we are.  Not one solid action.  Not one conversation.  Not one belief....but all the actions, all the conversations, and all the beliefs that define us. I think we change.  I think we grow.  I think we learn from each and every day we are given.

Changes occur because we learn from our pasts.  We learn that when we touch a hot stove not to ever do it again.  Who says one can't change?  Have you ever touched a hot stove? Did you continue to touch that hot stove once it burned you?

We grow because that is what life makes you do.  Not only do our hips grow wider but our brains grow bigger and our hearts grow fuller.  We grow as people, as parents, as friends.  We learn something each day that makes us step back and go "oh, I never thought about that."  We grow and become better, because that is what people do, we get better.  We make mistakes and we learn how to not make those same mistakes.  We sometimes make the same mistakes a few times over before we actually learn from them.....but we do grow (eventually).

We learn from ourselves and from others each second.  We learn from others what we hope to one day be.  We are inspired by the things we read and the things we see.  We are inspired to be better people each and everyday.  I struggle with what will make me a better person, but I know that each day I am a learning and working at being better.  (I think I should start with having more patience with 2 and 5 year olds).

It is not one defining moment that defines who you are....it is all the moments that you make which define you.

Good things happen to good people.

Amazing People...Amazing Things

Amanda has been one of my closest friends since I was in 6th grade.  We grew up together.  Went to college together.  And now we are getting to watch our kids grow up together.  Granted her kids are much different than mine.  Cecilia is sweet and caring and loving and calm.  Aiden is sweet and crazy and loud and loving.  Sebastian is rough and tumble and fast and a little lover.  Sloane is snappy and funny and bossy and rough.  I think Sebastian and Aiden could take on the world if we let them.  I am fairly confident that they would simply take anyone out that got in their way.  I love the way Sebastian follows Aiden around (teaching him really naughty things along the way) and the way Cealy wants to play with Sloane (who has no idea what "playing" actually means).

Amanda isn't my only friend with kids....a lot of my friends are moms.  I love watching them interact with their kids.  Sometimes they validate how I feel about being a mom....sometimes they make me a better mom....and sometimes they make me feel sane for being a mom.  It is a nice mix.  I love watching my best friends do their job and I love being able to say that between all of us we have an army of children.

Lucky for me I am able to witness Amanda's dreams slowly come true.  She has always dreamed, ALWAYS dreamed of adopting children.  She always wanted to have a bunch of Ethiopian babies running around.  Save these innocent little soles from a life of heartache and give them a life of love.  I remember sitting in her room in Castelton Estates listening to her talk about adopting babies.

15 years later she is doing just that.  Her and Danny have officially been told they are getting twin boys, TWIN BOYS.  Can you believe that?  Amazing.  She is going to become a mom to two more babies.  Two more babies to love.  To mother.  To raise.  To teach.  Unbelievable.  These babies are technically not babies.  They are at least one.  They are perfect.  They have very sad eyes in their pictures.  Sad eyes that probably represent their life thus far.  I have no doubts that Amanda and her family will have a lot to face over the next year.  But, her dreams are coming true.  She is a fighter and she will do this right.  She will turn the sad eyes into happy eyes.  She will turn these little boys into amazing young men.  She will show these little boys what a family feels like.

The amazing thing about Amanda and Danny is they can have children.  They have two.  Two perfect children.  But, they know that there are more than just THEIR perfect children in this world.  Perfect children that want to be loved just like Cecilia and Sebastian and Aiden and Sloane.  They are adopting these children because they are good people.  They are wholesome people.  They are following their dreams.  It is truly an inspiring thing to witness.  Amanda makes me a better mom, a better person.  I am proud to call her my best friend.  

Hair Hair Hair

Sloane got a haircut!?

I know, you are saying she doesn't have any hair!  And you are totally right.  She is kind of a baldy baby.  But, she does have a solid mullet.  One that only the finest rednecks would be jealous of.

I made the heart wrenching (it wasn't THAT dramatic) to get her first haircut.  I wasn't sure what to expect or what they would say.  And in fact when I got in there, I almost decided to leave....I wasn't sure I could handle not having her little curls if they decided to cut them off.  That AND they were taking FOREVER to get us in.

Side note....we are potty training.  The girl wears panties everywhere, this is so stressful for me.  I live in fear of her peeing her pants each and every second.  A simple errand has turned in to the fastest most efficient trips ever.....she is afraid of public bathrooms, which I TOTALLY get so she won't go potty anywhere but home. I am like a broken record, "you need to potty? let's go potty. you should potty first.  Big girls use the potty!"

Anyway.....they finally got her in the chair and the gal gave me my options:
1. Trim it, but you will still have the mullet look.
2. Do a short bob that angles towards her face and has layers in the back.

Hello!? Was there even an option?!  We went for the 'bob'. We did it.  She got a real hair cut.  She loved it.  She was so excited.  She smiled the whole way through.  It literally stung my heart when she cut off her curls, but, BUT, she doesn't have a mullet any longer.  I don't have my her pigtails any longer, but that is ok.  She is cute with or without those bad boys!

The right thing....

Making decisions are difficult to do.  It is hard to know if what you are doing is the right thing.  What is the right thing? What makes YOU believe it is the right thing?  Simple decisions, like do we go outside even though it is freezing or do we go shopping even though I am kinda poor....to difficult decisions like how to handle situations with friends/family, making decisions dealing with your kids can ALL be difficult to make.

In most cases what you believe is right someone else believes is wrong...that is kind of what makes the world go round. Even in my classroom, things I believe are the best thing for students, others may not.  I feel like my opinion is valued, which makes it alright for me to do the things that I do....but what about when your opinion isn't valued.  What about the times when you don't have the experience to know if what you decide is the right thing?  Does that make you wrong or incapable of making a decision?  You live and you learn and hopefully if you make a bad decision you are given an opportunity to rectify it.  You do the best with what you can.

We make decisions each day, most times only impacting ourselves.  We decide what to wear, what to eat, where to go, how fast to drive...how to react.  The 'how to react' is the problem with decision making.  How WE react affects many others and how OTHERS react affects us.   And a lot of times someone gets hurt, not purposefully but realistically.

There are consequences for all actions, and subsequently consequences for all decisions.  We live with consequences everyday....most times we don't even realize it.  We don't even think about it.

I believe in consequences.  I believe in decision making.  I believe in doing the right thing.

The problem is that what I deem as the "right thing" others may not.  Such a dilemma.