All so new.....

It is all so new.  I have been divorced for almost 2 years now, but each stage is still so new.  There are things that I will never get used to, I don’t care what they say.  They might get easier as my kids get older, but I will never get used to them.  Even Sundays, which I have written about before, don’t seem to get easier.  I am lucky, I see my kids a lot more than most divorced parents do, but I still miss them deeply.  I miss tucking them in, I miss hugging them, kissing them, listening to them play, watching them eat, I miss everything about them when they are away.  It hasn’t gotten easier, only harder.  I wonder why. I wonder if that is normal.  I wonder if  that will change.

My kids will have a step mom in a year, which is new.  She is extremely involved.  I am not used to that.  I don’t know how to handle it.  But, in time I think I will learn.

Aiden isn’t getting younger, he is growing, way too fast.  He has an attitude and doesn’t think the clothes I pick out to wear are cool (which is funny because the clothes he picks are pretty lame-o). He is a boy, all boy.  He loves me, a lot.  He loves on me all the time, and I hope that NEVER changes….but I know it will. He is an emotional kid, very emotional.  I think the divorce has most definitely affected him in many ways.  I worry about him, a lot. 

Sloane is getting big too.  She is such a character.  She cracks us up on a daily basis.  I especially love her meltdowns, those are the best.  I do have to say that she is smart, very smart.  She picks up on anything and everything that is said.  Sloane is has made my life better ten-fold. But each day is something new with her, each day brings a new battle. 

I love how new things are with my life, but at the same time I hate it.  I wish that I wasn’t caught off guard by so many things in my life, but here I am.  I will embrace each day and run with it.  I will live each day and enjoy it, because who knows when it could be gone.