Marathon Man

Kyle is running in a marathon right now.  Naturally, I worry about him, becuase I am a worrier (it is what I do best).  He is insanely athletic...I am insanely not. 

I am always amazed at someones ability to run.  I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest, then I start sweating, then my side starts to hurt, then I quit. 

He is an incredible man for many reasons....but being able to run a marathon (again) is one of the many reasons he continues to blow my mind. 

Here is the BEFORE pic......

Life is Short

Aiden and Slaone’s great aunt Jeannie died suddenly yesterday.  She was 49.  I am reminded anytime someone dies how short life can be.  How quickly things can go away, disappear, forever be gone.  It breaks my heart to know that her son, who is 19, will never get to hug is mom again.  That her husband, who has loved her unconditionally for over 30 years, will never get to lay next to his wife in bed. 

Jeannie was an amazing woman and was so accepting to every person she met.  She accepted me into her family and loved my kids like they were her own.  Jeannie was also very supportive of me through my entire divorce from Rac, never judged me and continued to send me emails and notes even when I wasn’t considered her family any longer.  She truly was a great person. Jeannie loved her son, Chandler, who was born premature weighing in at 2 pounds at birth.  This kid was truly her pride and joy.  She posted about him weekly on facebook, how proud she was of him and how happy he made her.  Chandler will forever know that his mother truly felt proud to be his mom.  Thankfully she told him, often.

When someone dies you are reminded how quickly things happen.  You are reminded how quickly life can change and become totally different.  One day you are smiling and the next day you are not.  Your world is altered in such a way that you don’t know how to pick up the pieces.  Nobody can make things better. Nobody can offer words of wisdom.  Nobody can take away the pain that is now a part of your life.

Many people turn to Religion. Many people wait for peace. Many people just play the “it didn’t happen” game.  However one chooses to deal with death is their choice.

One person can never compare their experiences with those of another, because every person experiences things in such a different way.  There is no comfort in hearing other peoples stories and the only comfort comes from telling your own. 

Death is a reminder to love fully, everyday.  To hug tightly, every chance you get.  And to speak kindly, at all times. 

My thoughts have been with and will continue to be with Jeannie and her family.

can't I just sit....

I went to the park yesterday.  The sun was shining, but it was not warm. I am so over our winter. Over being cold.  Over wearing my coat.  Over my winter clothes. Over being annoyed with the weather. 

Anyway, I was at the park. The kids were in good moods (not always the case) and we were swinging and doing monkey bars.  Aiden asked if we could play dragons and knights.

I am that mom that is always playing with her kids and watching the other moms (not all) sit on the benches.  And yes, I am judging those moms….why aren’t they playing, I want to sit, I want to drink my latte (yeah, never, I hate coffee) and relax, are their kids the annoying ones on the playground?

With that being said, yesterday Aiden asked if I would be the dragon and him and Sloane would be the knights (not sure Sloane agreed with the “knight” business but whatever).  Naturally, I agreed and told them to go to the castle (the slide) and I would come chase them.  As I began my run (as an awesome dragon) I was overwhelmed with a crazy feeling….I was flipping tired. I didn’t want to chase them.  I didn’t want to be a dragon, I wanted to be the latte mom who sat on the bench. So you know what I did? I handed in my mom of the year card and said “hey guys, I am a little tired and really need to sit down for a minute…you two play together and I will be RIGHT over there…..SITTING.”

It felt good to sit, but good lord I felt bad about it.  I felt like I was being so lazy and so pathetic.  I clearly was being lazy, but am I not allowed to sit?! 

Sloane turns 4!

It is something I never thought about when I had kids....I never realized they actually grow up.  I am so used to seeing them each day and watching them become people, that I don’t realize that they are not babies anymore and each day they grow a little more than the day before. 

I stumbled across a picture of Sloane last summer (just  8 months ago) and I couldn’t believe how young she looked. How much of a baby face she had.  How small she was….just 8 months ago.  When did she stop being a a baby?  When did she get to be such a big girl?  I can’t tell you because I truly don’t know.  I have no idea when she was suddenly so grown, it just happened.

I am sad about it, but I do love her age right now.  However, she has started this major crying bit when she wants something (like anything: help, a juicebox, a movie, a toy....) so I COULD TOTALLY do without that.

I have said this in my blog before but I have loved (almost) every stage my kids have been in.  It really does get better and better as they get older. I did dislike the newborn stage, it was way too boring for me.....I liked that they slept on me, that was fun...otherwise it was just days on end of solid confusion.

Sloane officially turned 4 on Saturday and it is unbelievable how much I love this girl.  She has so much enthusiasm and love for people it is amazing. 

She loves to dance and sing.  She loves to perform and be on stage (as long as she gets to be the center of attention).  She loves to paint and eat nutella on waffles.  She loves to ride her bike and play outside.  She loves to lay on my belly at night and watch Barbie movies.  She loves Frozen and wants to be a princess when she grows up. 

I love you Sloane Lynn! Happy 4^th birthday to the most important little princess on the planet! 

my tone

I read an article from a link on Facebook the other day about how we talk to our kids (and by God I CANNOT find the article anywhere). It basically said the tone we use with our kids is a tone we would never use with another adult and I couldn’t agree more with what the writer was saying.  The way I talk to my kids (at times) is very different than the way I talk to my husband, friends, family, or co-workers.  I have thought about this article a lot over the last couple of weeks....and I am reminded of it every time I speak in a "loudish tone of voice" with my kids. But (you knew that was coming), I have finally come to the conclusion that I completely disagree with the writer’s stance that a parent's tone of voice isn’t ok. I don't believe that my tone of voice is hurting my kids and killing their self-esteem.  Here is why I disagree; adults don’t do stupid things (ok let me rephrase, MOST adults don’t do stupid things) that (my) kids do. 

I don’t know many adults that would….

-knock their entire plate on the floor because they are playing with their forks.

-clench their teeth shut so tight that a toothbrush can’t break the barrier.

-run across a street without looking both ways.

-throw their boots across a room because they can’t have a donut for breakfast (because there are not donuts to be had).

-scream so loudly their neighbors eardrum burst simply because their shoe fell off.

-wake up at 2 in the morning and cry about the blankets not being perfectly laid over their body.

-lose their mind over having to share the Gatorade with a sibling.

-eat a gummy bear off the ground at Disney World.

-have a fit about their leggings not fitting perfectly at their ankle.

-pee down their leg because, well, why not?

-hide in a clothing rack in a store because it is fun to make their parent have a massive heart attack.

-cry loudly because you missed the trash truck drive by.

-argue (and I mean ARGUE) that 5 cents is MORE than 10 cents because the coin is bigger.

This is really just A FEW of the things that have made me talk to my kids in a way that I would never speak to an adult.  But I can tell you this, if an adult did any of these things I would speak to them the same way that I speak to my kids.  So I totally feel justified in my “tone of voice.”