being a mom

The sun is finally shining in Indiana.  It took about 7.5 months to happen, but by God it is finally nice out!  We spent Memorial Day weekend IN THE POOL! It was better than Christmas morning!

The kids are fish.  They love to swim.  We spent probably close to 8 hours in the water between Sunday and Monday.  It was pretty magical!

Aiden got sunburned.  Badly… it is no ordinary sunburn!  I used sunscreen a few times….but apparently I wasn’t paying much attention and missed a section of his back/shoulder.  It is a pretty nasty burn (in one area of his back).  I like to think it took almost 7 years of being in the sun before I allowed the boy to get sunburned (we call that a win) but the burn is bad so I feel awful about it. 

When you are divorced and things like that happen you feel even worse than a “normal” parent.  Not only do you have to deal with the fact that you allowed him to get burned/hurt/(insert injury here) but you have to “explain yourself” to the other parent(s) in their life. 

You feel like the babysitter who has to explain the bumped head when the parents arrive home. 

When you are married, as a parent you just go through life living out the ins and outs together and you experience your mistakes as a team.  When you are divorced you experience them alone, therefore leaving you to appear as though the other parent “knows better” because it didn’t happen to them (this time). 

In all reality, shit happens.  You make mistakes, you screw up, you do stuff that you realize was stupid.  It is called life.  I will never do things perfectly with my kids and that is what makes me a good mom.  I experience things with my kids and sometimes things turn out a little rocky. They get sick, they get hurt, they get ear infections, they break an arm, they bump their knee, they bump their heads, and the list goes on.  That is parenting. If Sunday rolls around and someone didn’t get hurt then we didn’t leave the couch all week!

I clearly know now that spray sunscreen is super convenient but totally blows.  I also know that when I ask Aiden to put his swimsuit shirt on and he says the shirt is “not cool” that I should just TELL him to do it. 

My kids will get hurt in my lifetime….I wish I didn’t have to explain myself to other people, but here I sit, explaining myself to people.  Nobody gets to sit when their hands in their laps thinking, “see I am better and would never let that happen…” the reality is it does happen to every parent.  I just need to remind myself of that (often).

I have learned quickly not to judge other moms/dads.  Every kid is different.  Every kid handles things differently. Every parent is different.  Every parents handles things differently. 

Now I need to go rub some aloe on this kid!