Never Enough Patience

My patience gets worn.  It is exhausting being a mom.  It is exhausting having to constantly have answers and be on your game.  I lose my patience on a daily basis. I would like to learn how to control my reactions to my kids, which I haven’t done that yet.  I am very reactive to my kids and I hate that about myself.  I have a hard time stepping back and taking a breath before saying what needs (or in some cases doesn't need) to be said. 

However, being reactive leads to exciting things as well.  Everything is a celebration. I get super excited when they do things and I love my reaction when they share something new. You got an A on a spelling test? Jumping around the kitchen! You were on purple at school? Ice cream! You mastered your round off? Mom will do one too! You scored in your game? I am screaming on the sidelines.  Everything is a big deal, which means when things aren’t always sugar and spice that is a big deal too. 

I don’t handle not listening well.  It is the kryptonite that leads to some ugly things in my house.  My kids have the world’s most magical selective hearing.  They don’t hear me say put your shoes on or brush your teeth, but they can hear me unwrap a candy bar from a different room. It is truly a gift of theirs.

I lose my patience with them daily.  Luckily for me we are forgiving people. I forgive them for never listening and they forgive me for being “mean.”

I wonder at what point will they actually start to follow directions.  I wonder if I have done something wrong as their mother along the way.  I wonder if  it is me that has made them think they don’t have to listen when I speak.  The other thing I have noticed as a mom is it is really hard to forgive yourself when you overreact to something.  We never want our kids to be sad and when we are the one responsible for them being sad it is painful.  Forgiveness is key on both ends. 

I wouldn’t trade being a mom for anything in the world, I have learned more about myself than I ever knew possible.  The love these kids have given me is unexplainable. 

I am thankful for children that are loving and accepting.  I am thankful for new starts to each day.  I am thankful for friends and a husband that can talk me off a ledge any day of the week.