Spring Break Break Break

For Spring Break we went with Kyle on a work trip to Ohio.  While he worked we went to an indoor water park and played all day.  It was a lot of fun for Sloane and I.  Aiden, not so much.  He can be such a party pooper.  On the first day he had a blast, but the second day he literally sat in his chair and did nothing the WHOLE time we were there.  I realized that I can't make him have fun, so Sloane and I enjoyed ourselves while Aiden sat and observed......let's be honest, I am a people watcher so maybe that is what he was doing (that's what I'll tell myself).

After our little water park fun we drove to Cincinnati to make our presence known at the Cincinnati Zoo.  We spent the night at Embassy Suites where Aiden had the time of his life swimming in a very small and basic swimming pool.  I was so annoyed that he only has fun when he chooses to have fun....then I remembered, oh yeah he is 5.

We swam forever (and by we I mean Aiden, Sloane, and Kyle)....I swam, then realized that becoming a prune is icky so I moved on.

We went back to the room, bathed, and got into bed.  As soon as the little people where in their bed watching TV there was a knock on the door.  It was the manager informing me that the neighbors complained about the noise level in our room.  FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE MY KIDS WERE BEING QUIET AND WE WERE GETTING COMPLAINTS!  I nearly fell over....I opened the door a little wider and asked if "these two were the ones making the noise" he said he supposed so so I just laughed and said, "Ok thanks"...... Kyle did voice a little complaint about his rudeness and we got a free night.  Hey, I will take a free night for a random folk saying MY KIDS were loud....have you met my kids? They're never loud.  They're are the calmest, sweetest kids I know......I kid, I kid.  But on the for real, they were not loud that night.  It was crazy!  Now at 2:30 am when Sloane cried for a full hour I would have understood the complaint, but it wasn't 2:30 yet.

The next day we went to the zoo and couldn't believe how amazing the zoo was!  It was h-u-g-e! My favorite were the gorillas!  They are humans. Period.  I could have watched them for hours. 

Melts Me

Sloane had her first dance recital on Sunday.  It was incredible.  She was incredible!  The joy she had while she was on stage filled my heart.  She loved it! She loved dancing....and singing....and just being up there.  She is most definitely a natural little star! 

 I love watching her do her thing!  Even Aiden sat through the TWO AND HALF HOUR PERFORMANCE!

We She had a dress rehearsal on Saturday that prepared Sloane for the big stage.  Let's just say it was the longest day in history.  We got there at 10:35 (why must I always be early?!?), she was supposed to rehearse at 11:15(ish)....she rehearsed at 1:20.  Did you know that 3 year olds aren't super patient?  Did you know that 30 year olds aren't super patient?  Did you know that eating a hotdog from a street vendor when you're sober isn't all that bad? Did you know that playing outside in a fancy tutu makes strangers think they can talk to you? Did you know that eating cheetos with a white costume on is a terrible idea?  Did you know that fruit snacks only keep a kids attention for as long as you have them?  Did you know that 3 year olds like to pee every 10 minutes just to get up?  Did you know that 30 year olds have the same problem?

It was a long day.  But so very worth it!

Lacey and Pressley came to watch Petunia strut her stuff...I think Sloane was so excited to finally be the one on stage instead of watching the stage.  Oh how I could watch the video over and over again!  Once I find out how to upload it, I will do that!

All so new.....

It is all so new.  I have been divorced for almost 2 years now, but each stage is still so new.  There are things that I will never get used to, I don’t care what they say.  They might get easier as my kids get older, but I will never get used to them.  Even Sundays, which I have written about before, don’t seem to get easier.  I am lucky, I see my kids a lot more than most divorced parents do, but I still miss them deeply.  I miss tucking them in, I miss hugging them, kissing them, listening to them play, watching them eat, I miss everything about them when they are away.  It hasn’t gotten easier, only harder.  I wonder why. I wonder if that is normal.  I wonder if  that will change.

My kids will have a step mom in a year, which is new.  She is extremely involved.  I am not used to that.  I don’t know how to handle it.  But, in time I think I will learn.

Aiden isn’t getting younger, he is growing, way too fast.  He has an attitude and doesn’t think the clothes I pick out to wear are cool (which is funny because the clothes he picks are pretty lame-o). He is a boy, all boy.  He loves me, a lot.  He loves on me all the time, and I hope that NEVER changes….but I know it will. He is an emotional kid, very emotional.  I think the divorce has most definitely affected him in many ways.  I worry about him, a lot. 

Sloane is getting big too.  She is such a character.  She cracks us up on a daily basis.  I especially love her meltdowns, those are the best.  I do have to say that she is smart, very smart.  She picks up on anything and everything that is said.  Sloane is has made my life better ten-fold. But each day is something new with her, each day brings a new battle. 

I love how new things are with my life, but at the same time I hate it.  I wish that I wasn’t caught off guard by so many things in my life, but here I am.  I will embrace each day and run with it.  I will live each day and enjoy it, because who knows when it could be gone. 

She is Three!

I don't know how it happened, but it did.  She turned 3. Three! Holy Cow, my baby girl is three.  Unreal.

She is a ball of energy.  She's sassy.  She's one giant drama queen.  She's a beautiful smile.  She's an amazing attitude.  She's as hard headed as they come.  She's the life of any party or situation.  

I like to think she is a lot of me, but a way better version.

Sloane loves Barbies, so we had a barbie party.  The day was all I could have imagined and she did great.  The hardest part of the day was realizing that SHE was not a good driver so maybe Aiden can teach her a little about driving a barbie jeep once spring rolls around.  

I love this girl with all my heart.  

She is my little rock star. 

My best friend.  

My baby.

Why I love what I do....

My job isn't hard.  It is fun.  It is meaningful.  It is time consuming.  It is rewarding.  It is exhausting, but it isn't hard.  I can honestly say that I am really good at what I do.  I wish I was more patient.  I wish I was a little less loud.  I wish my kids understood my jokes.  I wish kids listened more.  But, overall I feel like this is what I should be doing.  I don't compliment myself on a lot, and I always feel like I could do better at everything I do (including teaching) but I think that compared to a lot of teachers I am good (yes, I could be better). 

There are days that are much better than others.  There are times where I am over it.  There are times that I wish I could do my job without having to deal with kids (try to explain that to a non-teacher and they will never get it, but it is true). 

I love the way kids grow.  I love how naturally caring and giving (SOME) kids are.  I love when a light comes on for a child.  I love how they hear things that you never even realized you said.  I love the way they want to tell you everything (I dread Sloane and Aiden telling their teachers everything).  I love how they complain that things are hard, yet do great on things.  I love how they are comfortable with me.  I love when they think I am mean, yet they know this is not true.  I love when I am able to relate to a child (and it is crazy how you can relate to so many kids).

I have a child in my class who brought me 25+ toy dinosaurs today.  Yesterday in a lesson we were talking about meteors and how a scientists hypothesize that a giant meteor wiped out the dinosaurs.  I shared with the class (as a side note, I have lots of side notes while teaching) that Aiden LOVES dinosaurs but most videos we watch end with a meteor hitting the planet and all the dinosaurs dying.  That was it, that was the extend of my conversation and today in walks a kiddo with all his toy dinosaurs that he doesn't play with anymore.  He wanted Aiden to have them.  They care (some don't).  They listen (some don't). 

You better bet your hiney I Cloroxed those suckers.  :)  I love my job....but I hate germs.

Little Miss Temper

I remember when Maddi (my first encounter of aunt-hood) was a little person she was so perfect (she still really is).  But she turned 3 and became a not so perfect little person.  We really believed that we had hit the luck button with this chick because she did NOT go through the terrible two's.  We spoke too soon....I remember thinking I was gonna have to sell her if her parents left her alone with me once she turned 3.  She would melt down over anything and everything!  WEELLLLLLL, 5 years later (she is now 8) she has a wonderful little cousin, (my gem) Sloane.

Sloane is on the brink of three.  Three, how does that happen so fast?  Two was pretty easy with this girl. She was always pretty easy going....especially as a baby.  Now? Not.So.Much.

She melts down at the drop of a hat.  Anything and everything sets this child off.

If her socks are on crooked, you would think that I put baby spiders in them before I put them on.

She wants a fruit snack and is told to hang on a second, you would think I told her that Santa is never visiting again.

You want to help her wash the shampoo out of her hair during bath time.  How dare you, it is like splashing poisonous water all over her body.

She wants to do a puzzle but the first piece doesn't fit the WRONG piece, call in the troops she is losing her mind.

I have actually videoed her melting down.  She loves to watch it.  Thinks it's pretty awesome.  Sloane usually laughs a little, then says, "I siwwwwy." Yes dear, you are silly.

Last night her, Aiden and I were playing a game.  We were each taking turns rolling the race cars into a bucket (sounds enthralling right?!?).  When it wasn't my turn Sloane would rub my face and tell me it's not my turn, but it's ok.  She would say, "I love you mommy, but it not your turn." She would say this the entire time until it was my turn.  She melted me.  She finds ways to remind me each day why I love her so.

During this game Aiden also showed his mature 5 year old side.  Sloane melted down (what? Sloane? no way!) about wanting it to be HER turn and wanting to use Aiden's car.... my little Aiden let her go AND AND AND AND AND gave her HIS car to use.  He was desperate for her to play without melting down.  He is a great kid.  He will be a great kid.

I am a lucky mom.  I get the joy of the meltdowns but I also get the joy of all the happy moments. I love getting to know more and more about my kids each day.  One of the great parts of being a mom. 

I Was Here

This video is a little dramatic and beyonce's butt is looks HUGE but this song is incredible!

 I Was Here, by Beyonce

This song represents what most people I have surrounded myself by feel. We want to feel like we have done something, left our mark, given our all, and done our best.  I can honestly say that everyone around me has done what is in this song for me. My life is better because of you. You are all in my life for a reason, and I love that.

My mom, her mark will always be left with me.  I have learned and continue to learn from that woman each day.
My dad, where would I be without that man?  He is who I want to be.  He has taught me more than he will ever understand.  
My brother, he is so far away yet so close to my heart.  I know he is a call away for me to complain, tell a funny story, or just chat.  I love that I have him.  His kids, his wife...they complete my family.  They are and will always be my people, just like Aiden and Sloane.
Aiden and Sloane, lordy how they have left a huge mark on my life.  They are the true proof that I have made a difference in someones life.  They are me.  They are my world.  They are more than I ever thought I could be.
Kyle, he is my soulmate.  He allows me to live and to love.  To be a the person I always wanted to be.  To feel whole and happy.  To feel safe and right.  To make me feel alive and be a better person each day.  I hope that everyone has a chance to feel the love that this man gives me.
Lucy, she makes me a better mom.  I see the things she does and that makes me want to do more and be more for my people. I love that I have her.  I love the way she keeps our family close to her heart.
Bebe and Papa, they taught me peace.  They also shared their love with me.  Bebe is there, loves me, loves my kids just like her own.  I live and I love the way she has lived and loved.
My friends, oh my friends.  I have a lot of them (like 6 or 7 because I am awesome).  I love all of them, so very dearly.  I learn from them.  WE have left our mark on lots of places, things, people.  They are more than I ever imagined.  They bring me happiness and laughter each and every second.  I am very lucky.
Danielle and Micki, we are more than any other family is.  We are so abnormal and I love that we have what we have.  I wrote a blog post on my previous blog about how rare it is to have a family like ours....I still believe that.  I will always take our abnormal ways over other peoples traditional way. 
Kippi and Donna, they are like having extra moms. Most aunts aren't like my aunts.  I strive to be like them so Maddi and Colton have what I have.  I want those two kids to know that I was here, and I have done for them just like my aunts did for me.
Leslie (happy birthday sister), I will tell you that when you listen to this song you will think of her.  You will see her.  You will hear her singing this.  I am pretty certain that she in some form or fashion wrote this song for us to hear.  This epitomizes her, who she was, who she will always be in our hearts.  Leslie changed our lives in many ways, when she was here and when she left us.  She made us live before she died and continues to make us live.  I miss her.  I wonder what my life would have been like had we had her here all these years.  Listen to this song, think of her.  Then think of yourself and ask does this song fit you?
Here are the lyrics to the song if you don't watch the video.  Again I highly recommend watching it, if not just to see her giant hiney.....

I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time Know there was something that, meant something that I left behind When I leave this world, I'll leave no regrets Leave something to remember, so they won't forget
I was here I lived, I loved I was here I did, I've done, everything that I wanted And it was more than I thought it would be I will leave my mark so everyone will know I was here
I want to say I lived each day, until I die And know that I meant something in, somebody's life The hearts I have touched, will be the proof that I leave That I made a difference, and this world will see
I was here I lived, I loved I was here I did, I've done, everything that I wanted And it was more than I thought it would be I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here I lived, I loved I was here I did, I've done, everything that I wanted And it was more than I thought it would be I will leave my mark so everyone will know I was here
I just want them to know That I gave my all, did my best Brought someone to happiness Left this world a little better just because
I was here
I was here I lived, I loved I was here I did, I've done, everything that I wanted And it was more than I thought it would be I wanna leave my mark so everyone will know I was here.